Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Enough, already. And:One of the coolest things ever.

I don't even know where to start with this one...Abercrombie and Fitch is donating $10 million to the Columbus (Ohio) Children's Hospital. That in itself is fine and good. Money for sick kids? I'm all for it. Here's the clincher-"The “Abercrombie & Fitch Emergency Department and Trauma Center” will be part of a new main hospital facility, scheduled to break ground in 2008 and open in 2011." Read that again if you need to. The "Abercrombie & Fitch Emergency Department and Trauma Center." What next? The Pixy Stix Juvenile Diabetes Ward? The Hardees Thickburger Cardiology Center? Stop it. Just stop it. It's very nice that a corporation is willing to give money to a worthy cause. But it's entirely unnecessary that said corporation needs its name plastered all over it.

In the future, maybe this is how a trip to the ER will be...(cue dream sequence)

"Welcome to the Lady Foot Locker Trauma Ward. What seems to be wrong?"
"I think my arm is broken."
"All right sir, the doctor will be in momentarily. Have a seat here in Bank of America exam room number two. I'll be back later to take you over to the Cingular Wireless X-Ray Center. If you need anything, my name is Nurse Ratched, and I'll be your Toyota Duty Nurse-don't forget to ask about great interest rates on new Camrys and Corollas-for a limited time only!"

I don't know what to file this under...but I can narrow it down to a couple possible categories-
1) Reason no. 11,843 I really dislike Ohio.
2) Reason no. 845,372 I want to slap every CEO in the country.
3) Reason no. 1,768,290 I should be in charge.

Sorry if I had a Peter (you know what grinds my gears?) Griffin moment there. By the way, if you don't believe me-you can go here and read the press release. Just crazy enough to be true.

In other news, one of the coolest things I've seen for a while. File this under "why didn't they have this when I was 7?" Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the "Hose Nose."



This ingenious little device attaches over your real nose and serves as...wait for it...a candy dispenser. To steal a phrase from Chuck Palahniuk, "awesome isn't the right word, but it's the first word that comes to mind." I'm easily amused, I know.
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2 comments:

Alison B. said...

This is funny, but true. When I was doing fundraising for the Boys & Girls Club and we were preparing to build a new facility, we set the prices on naming rights for every inch of the place...the Learning Center would actually have the full name of something like...the Steve McKinney Learning Resource Center at the Joe Smith Boys & Girls Club on the Alison Bynum Campus. Insane, but a great way to raise money, and to get kids to be brand loyal if you named it after a company or whatever. Think bowl games and Nascar. Sad, but true!

10:31 AM
Adam said...

Sporting events and stadiums are one thing. But when you get to hospitals and the like, where do you draw the line? Should we start expecting First Baptist Church, brought to you by Shoney's? What kills me is that they (the companies) can't just give the money and be done. But I digress...

12:09 AM

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