Frank Vincent Zappa : 12/20/1940-12/4/1993

Over the span of his 30+ year career, he released nearly 60 albums-each one far ahead of its time. He managed to provoke, offend, engage, and enlighten. His music ranged from short, poppy tunes to ambitious, elaborate, and technically challenging compositions-including symphonic pieces recorded with the London Symphony Orchestra. He challenged the establishment at every opportunity-see his testimony before Congress. Even now, fourteen years after his premature death from prostate cancer, he continues to inspire. For your listening pleasure, click "play" below for one of my personal FZ favorites.

Bironas!

Well, the Titans managed to pull out a heart attack-incudcing, last-second win over the Texans today. I'm going to give the Titans their first report card from here at TWISIB.

Offense: C+
Backup QB Kerry Collins had a good day, going 25 for 42, 280 yards, and no interceptions. He also strung together a nice drive with less than a minute to go, putting the team in field goal range for the ultimate Bironas game-winner.

Special Teams: B
Decent overall. Hentrich continues to be one of the best punters in the league, and newcomer Michael Griffin shows lots of potential as a kick returner.

Defense: A+ (first 70% of game), F- (last 30%).
This one has me stumped. After putting on a clinic the first half (plus the first couple minutes of the third quarter), they gave up a whopping 29 fourth-quarter points. Here's the rundown of the the Texans' first 2 1/2 quarters:

1st Quarter
Start Time	Time Poss	Drive Began	# of Plays	Net Yards	Result
12:30	0:45	HST 24	2	-1	Fumble
10:50	0:59	HST 14	3	1	Punt
08:03	2:25	HST 42	5	11	Interception
00:52	1:52	HST 17	3	1	Punt

2nd Quarter
Start Time	Time Poss	Drive Began	# of Plays	Net Yards	Result
11:46	1:41	HST 18	3	8	Punt
05:36	1:37	HST 25	3	-1	Punt
01:06	0:21	HST 21	1	13	Fumble

3rd Quarter
Start Time	Time Poss	Drive Began	# of Plays	Net Yards	Result
15:00	0:52	HST 20	3	5	Interception
10:53	1:28	HST 20	3	5	Punt

Solid. Any team would be proud to have a defense show up like that. And then the last quarter came along. After scoring almost immediately, here's what the Texans did:

4th Quarter
Start Time	Time Poss	Drive Began	# of Plays	Net Yards	Result
12:08	3:53	HST 2	7	98	Touchdown
04:30	0:16	HST 12	1	0	Interception
03:47	2:10	HST 25	12	75	Touchdown
01:37	0:40	HST 34	3	66	Touchdown

Awful. Just flat-out awful. The inexperience of the secondary was definitely visible, as Texans backup QB Sage Rosenfels(!) lit up the Titans for 290 yards and 4 TDs. This left the Titans down by a point with :57 left in the game. Thankfully, we had this guy:



Rob Bironas: A+++
See also "the only reason we won this game. " Bironas scored 26 total points, and set a new NFL record for most field goals in a single game (a perfect 8/8).

So there you have it folks-the whole ugly thing. Hats off to Bironas for being a truly clutch player today. As for the defense, shame on you. No more taking a nap in the 4th quarter. A 32 to 7 lead should not turn into a near cardiac arrest over the course of 15 minutes of playing time. You nearly killed Tim. Seriously. At any rate, a win is a win, but jeez-no more like this, OK? Onward.

That's all, folks.

In case you didn't notice, the Cubs' season came to an end this past Saturday. Don't much know what to say about it. Rich Hill was pretty bad, giving up 6 hits and 3 runs in 3 complete innings. The offense was flat-out awful for the most part. Seven total hits and five walks somehow only added up to one lousy run. And that's not mentioning the four occurrences of those dreaded letters: GIDP. The good news is that the Cubs still managed to go from dead last in the NL Central to first in the course of a season. The bad news should be pretty obvious. Until April rolls around again, I guess I'll just quietly be rooting for the Red Sox to go the distance this year.

That being said, you'll see all the sports-related talk around these parts shift to the hometown favorites-the Tennessee Titans and the Nashville Predators. Both of those teams, by the way, had excellent weekends. The Titans' defense looked solid against the Atlanta Falcons, and the Preds looked dominant in their first two games of the season. Onward. Go Titans, and go Preds!

Don't Panic. Yet.

Well, Cub fans, last night was a tough one. The Cubs lost to the Diamondbacks, 3-1, in Game 1 of the NLDS.There's already a lot of controversy swirling around Lou Piniella's decision to pull Carlos Zambrano after the 6th inning. His replacement, Carlos Marmol, almost immediately gave up the go-ahead home run, ultimately resulting in a loss.

So the question of the day is this: Should Lou have pulled Z when he did?
I can't say with certainty, but I tend to think I agree. Here's why.

1. Z was already up to 85 pitches or so. You want to have him rested up if the series goes to 4 or 5 games.
2. Marmol is hands-down the Cubs' best reliever. Coming into last night's game, he had 96Ks over 69.1 IP, plus a 1.43 ERA.

The other thing worth noting is that a two-run lead, even in late innings, shouldn't have been insurmountable. The bottom line is that the Cubs offense looked downright awful. When your 1-4 hitters collectively muster 1 hit, and your leadoff man goes 0-5, that's a problem. When the team's LOB = 9, that's a problem. Piniella made a reasonable decision, the offense just showed that they weren't up to the task.

All that being said, tonight's game is (and I hate to use this term) a must-win. I feel good OK about this one. Ted Lilly, who has been looking very good his last couple of starts, takes the mound tonight. This combined with some run support should (hopefully) equal a tied series going back to Chicago on Saturday. Onward. Go Cubs!

AC 00 62 99

The playoffs start tonight. Time to reset the "calendar" to AC 00 00 00. Go Cubs.

CUBS WIN!

It's been a long haul, but last night was the payoff. With a combination of a 6-0 Cubs victory in Cincinnati and a 6-3 Brewers loss to the Padres, the Cubs became NL Central champions. I'm not going to say much more than that. NL Central Champions. Has a nice ring to it. The second season starts Wednesday-but for now I'm just going to enjoy this.

Your tax dollars hard at work.

From Fark.com and Yahoo! News comes this little tidbit...

CORONADO, Calif. - The Navy will spend as much as $600,000 to modify a 40-year-old barracks complex that resembles a swastika from the air, a gaffe that went largely unnoticed before satellite images became easily accessible on the Internet.

The Navy said officials noted the buildings' shape after the groundbreaking in 1967 but decided against changing it at the time because it wasn't obvious from the ground. Aerial photos made available on Google Earth in recent years have since revealed the buildings' shape to a wide audience.

Read the full article here .

Watch this. Immediately.

I've spent the past couple of nights watching the excellent new Ken Burns documentary The War. For those of you who aren't familiar, it's his look at World War II. After having watched the first three episodes, I can definitely recommend it. The film is an amazing mix of archival footage and interviews with veterans, families, neighbors-giving a real sense of the effect the war had on every American. Part of what makes it so interesting is that Burns ventures outside the typical WWII storyline. In addition to a basic rundown of the major battles and campaigns, he turns the lens on the events here at home. A particularly poignant segment from tonight's episode deals with Japanese-American soldiers going off to fight, while their families are behind barbed wire in an internment camp.

By seeing exactly what these soldiers (and their families) went through, the true impact of the war is brought home. I don't think that it's an exaggeration to say that this war truly affected everyone in America. To look at that time, and that place, and to see the sacrifices that were made by so many, is inspiring.

For those of you here in Nashville, here's a link to WNPT's schedule for this program. For those of you elsewhere, go here to find a station near you. And don't forget, Veteran's Day is observed on November 12. Go to your local Veteran's Day events and give the surviving WWII vets the cheers the so greatly deserve.

Art? Hardly. Stupid? You got it.

Ok. Let's role-play for a second here. You're an employee at Boston's Logan International Airport. A young woman comes up to your counter and asks about a flight. The front of her shirt has a circuit board and battery attached to it, and a lump of an unknown substance is in her hand. You answer her question, and then ask her what that is strapped to her chest. She doesn't answer, and turns to walk away.
You: A)Wave politely and tell her to enjoy the flight.
B)Do nothing.
C)Mention her suspicious behavior to security.

I don't know about you, but I think I'd pick C. And that's exactly what happened yesterday. Star Simpson, age 19, was arrested Friday after the above scenario unfolded. Already, there are some coming to her defense. "It was an art project/shirt she wore all the time/clearly not a bomb" and so on. Frankly, I don't care. Wearing anything that even remotely could be confused with a bomb to an airport is STUPID. Let's face it. Airport security folks aren't always the best-trained or the most patient. This was asking for trouble-especially remembering that one of the 9/11 flights was hijacked at...hmm...what was it...oh yeah. LOGAN INTERNATIONAL. Frankly, she's lucky she didn't get tasered or worse.

I don't care if she "wore that all the time". I might enjoy walking around the house with a bandolier of .50 cal ammo hanging over my shoulder, but I know that it might not go over well in public. And if it turns out that this dingbat wanted to call this some kind of "performance art?" Give me a break. Save it for somewhere else. And as for the most common argument I've heard-"real bombs don't look like that...", HOW DO YOU KNOW? Which bomb squad did you train with? Did Richard Reid's shoes "look like a real bomb?" Doubtful, but they sure as hell were. It's a different world we live in, folks. I'm all for civil liberties, freedom, the whole ball of wax. But one thing I don't support is people who check their common sense at the door.

Buckle your seat belts...

It's going to be a bumpy ride. Your favorites and mine, the Chicago Cubs, have exactly 9 games left in the season. As of this writing, they remain in first place in the NL Central with a 1-game lead over Milwaukee. To call these last few games "important" would be an understatement. The breakdown: 3 at home vs. the Pirates, followed by 3 games each in Florida and Cincinnati. Meanwhile, the Brewers have a 3-game set vs. the Cardinals, bookended by 4 games in Atlanta and 4 games vs. the Padres. This should absolutely be a fight to the finish. I'm confident in the Cubs, but I'm still silently hoping that Prince Fielder is injured from some sort of cheeseburger-related asphyxiation.

So how did the Cubs get here? By doing the things they weren't doing early on in the season-
winning 1-run games, being able to count on the bullpen, and being able to come from behind. A note here on the bullpen: Carlos Marmol has some absolutely nasty stuff. With a fastball consistently in the high 90s and a filthy slider, he's been absolutely unhittable-a 1.25 ERA over 64.2 IP. As for the starters, Ted Lilly has quietly established himself as the team's "ace" as of late-with a 15-7 record and a 3.78 ERA. Carlos Zambrano hasn't returned to his dominance from July (5-1, 1.38 ERA), instead going 2-2 with an ERA north of 5. I'll go ahead and say it: Big Z absolutely, positively, needs to get it together. NOW. C'mon, Carlos. Show us all why you're worth the big payday.

So stock up on your Maalox and Old Style, Cubs fans. We're in for a wild couple of weeks. See you at Wrigley in October.

UPDATE: Brewers lose to Atlanta. Make that 1 1/2 game lead. Go Cubs!

The dumbest thing I've heard all day.

I came across this article today. Los Angeles city councilwoman Jan Perry, apparently concerned about her district's waistline, has proposed legislation that would create up to a two-year moratorium on new fast food restaurants in the area. It seems that the residents of the South L.A. district she represents have higher instances of obesity compared to the rest of the county. So in an attempt to remedy this problem, she has suggested...no more fast food. Not a community education program, not working to increase awareness regarding diet and nutrition, but a ban on new fast-food restaurants.

This idea is misguided at best, and at its worst, is a perfect example of unnecessary governmental intervention. Even if there's a higher-than-average number of fast food restaurants in the area, people choose to eat there. Furthermore, let's not forget that many such establishments now offer things like salad or fruit-which means people also choose what they eat while there. Anyone could tell you that a salad is better for you than a triple cheeseburger with a large order of fries. It's a matter of what people choose to do-and this is not to mention that one could just as easily eat at home, or take a meal to work.

Without getting into a lengthy discussion on the role of government in our society, I can say the following with certainty: I don't need the government playing the role of nanny-saving me from Arby's by means of legislation. Any reasonably intelligent person should be able to say the same. This is a case where the intent is noble enough-protect people from the adverse health effects of obesity. However, banning something as basic as where a person can eat is completely the wrong approach. Do some outreach. Give people information on a healthy lifestyle. Provide them with the tools they need to make an informed decision. Don't insult their intelligence (or mine) by doing otherwise.

R.I.P. Joe Zawinul

The jazz community lost a legend today-Joe Zawinul. He died from a rare form of skin cancer at the age of 75. From Yahoo/AP:

Zawinul won acclaim for his keyboard work on chart-topping Miles Davis albums such as "In A Silent Way" and "Bitches Brew," and was a leading force behind the so-called "Electric Jazz" movement.

In 1970, Zawinul and saxophonist Wayne Shorter founded Weather Report and produced a series of albums including "Heavy Weather," "Black Market," "I Sing the Body Electric," and the Grammy-winning live recording "8:30."

He is credited with bringing the electric piano and synthesizer into the jazz mainstream, but was frustrated by the lack of respect for electric keyboards and new technology among jazz purists.

"There is no difference between a Stradivarius or a beautiful synthesizer sound," Zawinul told Jazziz magazine earlier this year. "People make a big mistake in putting down electronic music. Yes, it's been misused and abused, but that's true of every music.

"There is nothing wrong with electronic music as long as you're putting some soul behind the technology."

Austrian Chancellor Alfred Gusenbauer praised Zawinul's "unpretentious way of dealing with listeners" and said he wasn't "blinded by superficialities."

Born in 1932, Zawinul grew up in a working-class family during World War II in the Austrian capital. He played accordion on the streets to make money and received classical piano training as a child prodigy at the Vienna Conservatory. In the postwar years, he grew interested in American jazz, playing in a dance band that included the future Austrian President Thomas Klestil and making a name for himself on the local jazz scene in bands led by saxophonist Hans Koller and others.

"One thing about Viennese musicians, they can really groove, more than even the German bands can," Zawinul said in a 2007 Downbeat magazine interview. "It's something in our nature, perhaps. We're cosmopolitan and interracial — Czech, Slavic, Hungarian, Romanian, Bulgarian, Turkish a little bit."

In 1959, Zawinul emigrated to the United States on a scholarship to study at the Berklee School of Music in Boston, but left to join Maynard Fergusion's big band. He next landed a gig with Dinah Washington; his funky piano can be heard on her 1959 hit "What a Diff'rence a Day Made."

Zawinul rose to international fame after joining alto saxophonist Cannonball Adderley's band in 1961. During his nine-year stint with the band, he composed such tunes as "Walk Tall," "Country Preacher," and most notably the gospel-influenced, soul-jazz anthem "Mercy, Mercy, Mercy," his first important recording on electric piano, which climbed the pop charts and won a Grammy for Adderley.

In the late '60s, Zawinul recorded with Davis' studio band, His tune "In a Silent Way" served as the title track for the trumpeter's first foray into the electric arena. Zawinul's composition "Pharoah's Dance" was featured on Davis' groundbreaking 1970 jazz-rock fusion album "Bitches Brew," which won Davis a 1970 Grammy for best jazz performance, large group or soloist with large group.

Weather Report enjoyed its biggest commercial success with the 1977 album "Heavy Weather" which featured Zawinul's catchy tune "Birdland," which became one of the most recognizable jazz hits of the '70s after it was also recorded by Maynard Ferguson and the vocal group Manhattan Transfer.

After Weather Report broke up in 1986, Zawinul went on to form The Zawinul Syndicate, which brought together a global village of musicians who recorded such albums at the Grammy-nominated "My People" (1996) and "World Tour" (1998).

I knew I was on to something.

From the BBC:

The old advertising slogan "Guinness is Good for You" may be true after all, according to researchers.

A pint of the black stuff a day may work as well as an aspirin to prevent heart clots that raise the risk of heart attacks.

Drinking lager does not yield the same benefits, experts from University of Wisconsin told a conference in the US.

Guinness were told to stop using the slogan decades ago - and the firm still makes no health claims for the drink.

The Wisconsin team tested the health-giving properties of stout against lager by giving it to dogs who had narrowed arteries similar to those in heart disease.

They found that those given the Guinness had reduced clotting activity in their blood, but not those given lager.

Clotting is important for patients who are at risk of a heart attack because they have hardened arteries.

A heart attack is triggered when a clot lodges in one of these arteries supplying the heart.

Many patients are prescribed low-dose aspirin as this cuts the ability of the blood to form these dangerous clots.

The researchers told a meeting of the American Heart Association in Orlando, Florida, that the most benefit they saw was from 24 fluid ounces of Guinness - just over a pint - taken at mealtimes.

They believe that "antioxidant compounds" in the Guinness, similar to those found in certain fruits and vegetables, are responsible for the health benefits because they slow down the deposit of harmful cholesterol on the artery walls.

So there you have it, folks. Scientifically proven. Read the full article here.

Why follow the rules, when you can make your own?

I came across this article today. The short version is that Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez wants to introduce legislation to do away with term limits, so that he has more time to implement a socialist economy. In other words, he's not planning on going anywhere. For those of you not familiar with the situation in Venezuela, here's a brief rundown.

In 1998, Chavez was elected president. Running on a platform promising to reduce both poverty and corruption, he received 56% of the vote. He won reelection in 2006, allegedly receiving 63% of all ballots cast. I use the word "allegedly" because the Chavez government has quite the reputation for corruption, questionable elections included. Since first taking office, Chavez has been a vocal critic of George Bush and America in general, while cozying up to his role model Fidel Castro. In addition, he has made active strides towards a largely state-controlled economy, proposing government control of everything from telecom companies to Venezuela's massive oil refineries. Chavez has also implemented several laws restricting free speech and the free press.

And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Chavez is a modern-day Pied Piper. After promising massive social reforms, and an end to poverty, he has taken away rights and done nothing to improve the economy. Poverty actually increased during his first four years in office, from 43% to 54%. Further, what is referred to as "extreme" poverty (people living on less than $1/day) jumped from 17% to 25%. Meanwhile, violent crime (homicide in particular) has increased year over year. In 2003, there were 11,900 murders, equivalent to 46.5 per 100,000 people. That's 36.2 per day. And the reason more recent statistics aren't available? Chavez's government ordered the police to stop releasing them. There are routine reports of citizens being tortured by the police and the National Guard. Venezuela is also notorious for its do-nothing attitude regarding the problem of human trafficking.

As each day passes, Chavez works to cement his power and deny the rights of the people he pledged to empower. For any skeptics out there (I'm looking at you, Sean Penn), this is all well-documented. Check out any of the following for the real situation:


Human Rights Watch

Amnesty International

Venezuela Crisis

And the next time you're at the pump, refuse to help subsidize this-CITGO is the U.S. subsidiary of Venezuela's state-run oil company.

R.I.P. Hilly Kristal

From CNN:

NEW YORK (AP) -- Hilly Kristal, whose dank Bowery rock club CBGB served as the birthplace of the punk rock movement and a launching pad for bands like the Ramones, Blondie and the Talking Heads, has died. He was 75.

Kristal, who lost a bitter fight last year to stop the club's eviction from its home of 33 years, died Tuesday at Cabrini Hospital after a battle with lung cancer, his son Mark Dana Kristal said Wednesday.

Last October, as the club headed toward its final show with Patti Smith, Kristal was using a cane to get around and showing the effects of his cancer treatment. He was hoping to open a Las Vegas incarnation of the infamous venue that opened in 1973.

"He created a club that started on a small, out-of-the-way skid row, and saw it go around the world," said Lenny Kaye, a longtime member of the Patti Smith Group. "Everywhere you travel around the world, you saw somebody wearing a CBGB T-shirt."

While the club's glory days were long past when it shut down, its name transcended the venue and become synonymous with the three-chord trash of punk and its influence on generations of musicians worldwide.

The club also became a brand name for a line of clothing and accessories, even guitar straps; its store, CBGB Fashions, was moved a few blocks away from the original club, but remained open.

"I'm thinking about tomorrow and the next day and the next day, and going on to do more with CBGB's," Kristal told The Associated Press last October.

Kristal started the club in 1973 with the hope of making it a mecca of country, bluegrass and blues -- called CBGB & OMFUG, for "Other Music For Uplifting Gourmandisers" -- but found few bands to book. It instead became the epicenter of the mid-1970s punk movement.

"There was never gourmet food, and there was never country bluegrass," his son said Wednesday.

Besides the Ramones and the Talking Heads, many of the other sonically defiant bands that found frenzied crowds at CBGB during those years became legendary -- including Smith, Blondie and Television.

Smith said at the venue's last show that Kristal "was our champion and in those days, there were very few."

Throughout the years, CBGB had rented its space from the building's owner, the Bowery Residents' Committee, an agency that houses homeless people.

In the early 2000s, a feud broke out when the committee went to court to collect more than $300,000 in back rent from the club, then later successfully sought to evict it. By the time it closed, CBGB had become part museum and part barroom.

At the club's boarded-up storefront Wednesday morning, fans left a dozen candles, two bunches of flowers and a foam rubber baseball bat -- an apparent tribute to the Ramones' classic "Beat on the Brat." A spray-painted message read: "RIP Hilly, we'll miss you, thank you."

Other survivors include his wife, Karen, and daughter, Lisa.

We should all be grateful he gave such wonderful music a chance to be heard. All the best to his family and friends.

I learn from "Mystery."

I stumbled across an episode of a show on VH1 called "The Pick-Up Artist." It's (gasp!) a reality show where contestants learn "the art of seduction" from a man who calls himself only "Mystery." Now, Mystery claims to be a expert, and with the help of his wingmen "Matador" and "J-Dog" (not making this up, by the way) says that he can teach this misfit bunch of guys his secrets.

The secrets to be learned from these Zen masters? According to VH1's website, " the ins and outs of the Mystery Method-- "how to open a set," "the number close" and "the kiss close" among others." In plain English, those roughly translate to "how to approach a group," "how to get a girl's number," and "how to get a girl to kiss you." The gist of the whole system is basically this: Use canned or rehearsed lines as conversation starters. Show interest, but not too much. Use backhanded compliments-for example "I like your nails. Are they real?" Repeat as needed until the bar skank girl gives you her number, kisses you, etc. The bottom line is that the contestants on the show are seemingly well-meaning guys who desperately need some confidence. If they walk away feeling better about themselves, great. But I can't take any of this seriously, especially when the "master of seduction" looks like this:


Seriously. That's him.

When it's all said and done, I still like to believe that nice guys can wind up with quality girls. I'll gladly leave the bar skanks of the world to Mystery and his pals.

A new favorite.

I recently picked up a copy of Anthony Bourdain's Les Halles Cookbook, and I have to say that it's an instant classic. Yes, I know, it's been out for a while, but it's new to me. For those of you unfamiliar with Bourdain, he's an author, chef, and sometime TV host (check out No Reservations on the Travel Channel-great show). Les Halles, the New York City-based restaurant where he serves as executive chef, specializes in traditional French bistro food. Here, Bourdain covers everything from the "classics" (coq au vin, escargot noix), to recipes calling for kidneys and hearts.

This isn't a book for everyone, though. A pretty fair number of the dishes, while simple to make, require ingredients that definitely can't be bought at your average supermarket. Many will require a trip to the butcher shop, or an order from one of the suppliers listed in the back. And for anyone who gets a bit uncomfortable when encountering some casual profanity, this one isn't for you. I'd never seen pearl onions referred to as "little f---ers" before now. For that matter, I'd never seen an equipment list calling for a "novelty apron or vintage Ted Nugent t-shirt" while preparing cote de boeuf. Swearing and joking, aside, the food is excellent. I've only had the opportunity to try a couple dishes so far, but I found them both suprisingly easy to make (i.e. filet of beef with sauce porto and roasted shallots) and packed with lots of flavor (les halles' onion soup). Hardcore Bourdain fans and foodies alike should love this one. I highly recommend it.

Ooh, shiny red ball!

Miss Teen South Carolina gives her insightful opinions concerning education, Iraq, South Africa, and maps.



To borrow from the classic Billy Madison:
"... What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."

UPDATE:
According to South Carolina newspaper The State, the contestant in question (Lauren Caitlin Upton) says that she "completely misunderstood" the question. The same article mentions that she graduated from her high school with a 3.5 GPA. If this is true, what exactly would an answer from a "D" student have been? Unfortunately, he was unavailable for comment...

TWISIB 101

With the dog days of summer in full swing, I thought it might be a good time to cover the basics. Since my good buddy Tim (aka Tman) was kind enough to give a shout-out to TWISIB on his blog, I figured I'd go over a few things for the benefit of his readers who might find their way over-or for anyone else who has ever stumbled upon my blog. So this, dear reader, is TWISIB 101.

A little about me:
I'm a Nashville native. That in itself is a rare enough thing these days-it seems like everyone in Nashville is from somewhere else. Cubs fan. I never made it on the Braves bandwagon-I got hooked on the Cubs watching the great mid-80s teams play on WGN. Ryne Sandberg, Mark Grace, and of course Harry Caray all had something to do with my baseball addiction.

I'm a bit left of center, but I'm not as much of a lefty nut-job as Tim might have you think. Although we don't agree on everything, some of that is simply me enjoying the role of devil's advocate. I have my own views, but I'm always willing to listen to someone else's. With that in mind-should there ever be some heated debates going on in the comments, let's keep it civil, folks. Treat other people the way you'd want to be treated. Fair enough? I hope so. If you're looking for a place to read (and talk) about sports, politics, and the occasional Frank Zappa record, this is the place for you. Come on in. Make yourselves at home. Post a comment, even. Enjoy.

Things heat up...

Literally and otherwise-the temperature has been north of 100 degrees, and the pennant races have gotten very interesting. The one nearest and dearest to my heart, of course, is the NL Central. The Cubs, now in first place, have finally managed to capitalize on the Brewers' skid, despite being 4-6 in their last 10 games. Meanwhile, the Cardinals have been not-so-quietly gaining ground, going 7-3 in the same stretch. The 4-game homestand that kicked off yesterday at Wrigley is a must-win for the Cubs.

The good news is that the Cubs have finally started to pull it together offensively, even with Soriano out of the lineup and Derrek Lee struggling big-time at the plate. The not-so-good news is that the bullpen is still shaky. Not a good thing, when you look at the big numbers the Cardinals' offense has been putting up lately-a staggering 55 runs in their last 10 games, including three straight thrashings of the Brewers.

That being said, the Cubs did a couple key things in the win yesterday-

• Get a quality start from the pitcher. Rich Hill's numbers from yesterday: 7 IP, 3H, 1R, 2BB, 7K. A very good outing.
  
• Keep it close. Howry and Dempster both did a good job of shutting down the Cards' offense.
• Make things happen offensively. Although the 2-run, 4-hit box score doesn't look that impressive, coming up with an answer to Pujols' homer was key.
  

If the Cubs can make those same sorts of things happen today (and on through the weekend), there's a very real change of pulling out to a fair lead in the division. It's time to start looking towards October.

Cubs win! Cubs win! Cubs win!

Ladies and gentlemen...your NL Central leaders, the Chicago Cubs.

That is all.

A ray of hope.

As depressing as the news has been lately, I came across a story that finally brought a smile to my face. It seems that...
Paris Hilton is losing about $60 million dollars.
Yes, ladies and gents, everyone's favorite whore "socialite" has managed to upset the man with the money-her grandfather. It's nice to know that some people still have standards.

The Simpsons: a review.

Went to the movies today for the first time in a while. What would inspire me to plop down $6.50 of my hard-earned money? The Simpsons movie, of course. I went in with mixed expectations. Given the declining quality of the show over the past few seasons, I was a little concerned-I was hoping for a return to "classic" Simpsons style. Thankfully, I was not disappointed.

The movie clocks in at just under 1 1/2 hours, and plays a lot like an extended episode of the series. It opens with the Simpson clan taking in the new "Itchy & Scratchy" movie-which quickly turns self-aware as Homer moans "...who would pay eight dollars to see something they could watch at home for free?" This is just the beginning, as the first half of the movie is filled with the classic brand of humor that the show has become known for: smart, a little edgy, sometimes crude, sometimes slapstick. A lot of the traditional targets are there, with organized religion and consumer culture being in the forefront. Of course, there's also some of the slapstick, Homer-doing-dumb-things humor throughout.

In terms of plot, the storyline is something of an excuse to string together some jokes. But in this case it works. Here's the rough synopsis. Following Grandpa Simpson's religious vision, Homer singlehandedly pollutes Lake Springfield, causing the EPA to seal off the entire town inside a giant dome. Logically, it's now up to the Simpson clan to help save Springfield. As a matter of fact, don't worry about it. What's more important to know is that all the favorites make an appearance-Moe, Cletus, Flanders, Lenny, Carl, Mr. Burns, and the rest of the usual suspects. The second half of the movie slows down a little bit, and actually delves into emotional territory for a while-reminiscent of the early seasons of the show.

Overall, I'd give this movie two separate ratings, on a scale of one to five. First, the rating for a casual fan-a solid 3. For a die-hard Simpsons fan, it gets a 4.5-a 4 overall, plus a bonus 1/2 point for being (much like the show) highly quotable. All in all, a pretty good way to spend a hot summer afternoon.

They gone!

Well, folks, it turned out to be a wonderful weekend for Chicago Cubs baseball. That's a rare enough thing for me to get to say, but sweeping the Sox at the Cell deserves a post.

The good: Three quality starts by Cubs pitching. The Sox were held to 16 hits and 2 runs over the entire 3-game series. Alfonso Soriano gets a gold star for homering in all 3 games, plus a beautiful throw to the plate in today's game. The Cubs looked solid on both sides of the plate.

The bad: Saturday's game subjected me to the atrocity that is the Sox broadcasting team. For those of you unfamiliar, allow me to give you a crash course. The duo consists of Ken "Hawk" Harrelson and Darrin "DJ" Jackson. "DJ" is apparently fond of loading up on Valium before every game-he seems to have serious trouble with minor things like, um, words. If he wasn't calling Cliff Floyd "Gary Boyd," he was bumbling his way through promo copy in a fashion that would have made Mushmouth look like Casey Kasem. And as for the "Hawk?" There are so many levels of awful here, I'm just going to hit the major ones. He's been criticized for being an obvious "homer," which he certainly is. However, Harry Caray was definitely one as well. The problem is that "Hawk" takes it to a whole other level-referring to the Sox as "we" or the "good guys." Irritating to hear a score like this..."end of the 4th, good guys down 2-1."

He also has some of the most annoying catchphrases in the history of sports. After an opposing team has a player strike out? "He gone." Not "he's gone," as anyone with a sense of grammar would say, but "He gone." And when the Sox get a home run? I suggest covering your ears, because you're about to get both "Hawk" and "DJ" screaming at once- "you can put it on the board....YES!" This, combined with "Hawk's" random references to "duck snorts" and "cans-o-corn," had me yelling at the TV by about inning number four. These guys are so bad, their own team's fans are calling for their heads:
Heave the Hawk
and also here.
Pretty bad, folks, pretty bad.

And the ugly: One of the strangest baserunning plays I've ever seen in today's game. I won't even attempt to try and describe it. Even the umpires were confused. The game was held up for a good 15 minutes while they had a conference on it. For a pretty good explanation of what happened, swing over here to one of my favorite Cubs-related blogs.

All in all, a fine weekend. The Cubs get out their brooms, the weather here is nearly perfect, and it's all topped of nicely with a heapin' helpin' of ribs, chicken, and turducken at Fin's place. That definitely works for me.

"Game Seven," the aftermath.

The Predators' series came to an end. In five games. To the Sharks. Again. To call this a disappointing outcome is an understatement. Here was a team that seemed built to make a deep playoff run, if not go all the way to the Stanley Cup. In some ways, the Preds were their own worst enemy. They spent way too much time on the penalty kill, and seemed almost lethargic.

The Sharks did us no favors. They generally outshot us, and showed a real ability to stay in the game at all times (the obvious exception being our one win of the series). They made things happen by simply putting the puck on net, while we seemed content to wait for a fancy play to materialize.

Looking back on all this, the big question is simply "what happened?" This team had no shortage of talent (Kariya, Forsberg, Dumont, Weber, Radulov, Erat, Legwand...) yet managed to go from being in the driver's seat in February to dropping crucial late-season games. After some thought, the answer I've (unfortunately) started to come up with is that the problem lies with the coaching. Barry Trotz has done a great job of turning around this franchise. However, as we've moved into the ranks of the NHL's best teams, with an ever-increasing array of talent, we've hit a wall. For three straight seasons, we've made it to the first round of the playoffs, only to make a rapid exit. It seems that Trotz may not be the man to take us further. It may be premature to say this, and I'm certainly not advocating that he be shown the door right away. Hopefully, these past couple seasons have been a fluke. Let's see what happens, and go for a Cup in 2008.

Game Seven, Part One.

Well folks, this is it for your Nashville Predators. After finishing with one of the best records in the NHL, we find ourselves down 3-1 in a best-of-seven series against the San Jose Sharks. The equation now is very simple: Win. Or go home. For all intents and purposes, this is our Game Seven. The team has showed some fight tonight. As it sits now, we're about to go into the third period with the score knotted at two goals each.

As an aside, I stumbled across this blog the other day:

A Sharks fan who made it their goal to attend every game this season. Home, away, playoffs, you name it. It's interesting to see their impressions of other cities. And they've posted some cool photos from the stops along the way. Go check it out.

It's tough to come back after a 3-1 deficit, but if there's a team that can do it, it's this one. Despite the loss of the playmaker Steve Sullivan, we've had some guys step up big. Radulov, Dumont, and yes, Vokoun. We're twenty minutes away from living to fight another day, or thinking about next year. Here's hoping this team has some fight left.

A moment of silence.

After the horrors on the campus of Virginia Tech, we should all take a moment to reflect. The victims ranged from students to a Holocaust survivor. The impact will be felt for a long time. Each one of those victims had friends and family who will never be the same. To borrow from John Donne: "Any man's death diminishes me, for I am involved in mankind." Regardless of our personal connections (or lack thereof), we should all keep these families in our thoughts and prayers. It will be a long journey for them. I can only hope they realize that we as a nation are keeping them in our hearts.

This just in: Barry Bonds more of a jerk than previously suspected.

According to a New York Daily News report, Barry Bonds failed a test for amphetamines last season. And then blamed someone else. To wit:

"When first informed of the positive test, Bonds attributed it to a substance he had taken from teammate Mark Sweeney's locker..." -ESPN.com

So let's recap. The jury is still (literally) out on possible perjury charges pertaining to the BALCO scandal, where Bonds used the very similar excuse of "it was whatever my trainer gave me." Now, we get this. Barry Bonds is a cheat and a liar, and very simply, he should just hang it up. Better yet, someone should force his hand. The Giants organization should decide not to offer him a contract for the upcoming season. I don't know of any other team in baseball that would touch him. Unless there's more of a market for 42-year-old, slightly hobbled, slow-moving outfielders who have to put on a friggin' suit of armor before going to bat than I thought. Let's compare Barry, then and now.

This is Barry, circa 1986. A quick, lean, "five-tool" player, shown here at age 22.

And THIS...


Well, this hulking fella is Barry in 2005, at age 41.
One only needs to compare some statistics before things look a little strange. He's always put up respectable batting numbers, and his fielding stats in the early part of his career are amazing. His range factor from his first couple seasons is something to behold:

http://www.baseball-reference.com/b/bondsba01.shtml

But then that number starts trending down, and all the while his batting (particularly home runs) keeps going up. My biggest problem with this guy is the fact that some people (apparently all Giants fans) are in such denial about this. Look at the other big names in the steroid scandal. Mark McGwire. Kept out of the Hall of Fame. Sammy Sosa. Can't even get signed to play for a small team in Japan. Meanwhile, they treat Barry like he's royalty. He isn't. Hank Aaron got in the record books with had work and determination. Babe Ruth worked on a diet of hot dogs, cigars, and whiskey. Barry Bonds stuck a needle in himself and lied about it. Here's hoping that this cheater doesn't prosper any more.